[Spoken intro]
Hey baby, uh, it's me
Um, our anniversary's comin' up,
it's a pretty big one
And, um, I wrote a song
Em F#m
for you
So I'm just leaving
Bm Bm/D Bm
you this voicemail because,
Em Fm#
um, I want the song
Bm Bm/D Bm
to begin with this voicemail
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Like, I want the voicemail
Em F#m
to play at the beginning of it
Bm Bm/D Bm
So, if you could just download
Em
this voicemail when you get
F#m
it and then text it to me
Bm Bm/D Bm
Um, you might need to, like,
Em
download another app to
F#m
download the—
Bm Bm/D Bm
I don't know if you can rip your
Em
voicemail right off your phone,
F#m
you might need to, like—
Bm Bm/D Bm
Just Google it, don't call
me and ask me
Em
'Cause I know,
F#m
I know what you're gonna do
Bm Bm/D
You're gonna, you're gonna get
Bm
this and you're gonna
think you just can't do it
Em
And you're gonna call me, but
F#m
then I'm just gonna Google it
Bm Bm/D
So, just you Google it,
Bm
you're an adult,
you can figure it out
Em F#m
Um, so just, figure it out and
Bm Bm/D Bm
text me the voicemail
Um, immediately,
Em
if you wouldn't mind,
F#m
like, right when you get this
Bm Bm/D Bm
Thank you, um, I love you, bye
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[Verse 1] Em F#m You're my best friend, Bm Bm/D Bm I love you Em F#m You know me and Bm Bm/D Bm I know you Em F#m We got problems that Bm Bm/D Bm we've been through Em F#m We got shit that Bm Bm/D Bm we'll get through, uh Em F#m You think I'm rude to you Bm Bm/D Bm You think I am the worst Em Because I ask when you suck F#m my dick Bm Bm/D Bm To take out your Invisalign first [Chorus] Em F#m Come on, five years, five years Bm Bm/D Bm Still you, still me, still here Em F#m Five years, five years, baby Bm Bm/D Bm Five years, five years
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[Verse 2]
We order Chinese,
Bm Bm/D
I'm eating my dumplings
Bm
You reach over and
Em
you take my dumpling
F#m
You don't even say,
Bm Bm/D
"Do you mind?" or nothing
Bm
Why would you assume that
Em
you're entitled to a dumpling?
F#m
So I look at you,
Bm Bm/D
you look back at me,
Bm
like, "What the fuck did I do?"
Em F#m
If you really wanted some
dim sum then
Bm Bm/D Bm
You really should've gotten
Em F#m
some when we put in the order
Bm
You say, "You're a psycho
Bm/D Bm
and I- I don't wanna fight
Em F#m
So, let's just drop this,
Bm Bm/D
it's not a big deal"
Bm
Okay, but for the record
Em F#m Bm
You owe me a dumpling,
Bm/D Bm Em F#m
I mean it, I won't forget
Bm
You owe me a dumpling or
a dumpling equivalent
Feel free to use our free Chord Shape Generator to see every chord in this song on guitar, ukulele and piano.
[Chorus] Em F#m Five years, five years Bm Bm/D Bm Still you, still me, still here Em F#m Five years, five years, baby Bm Bm/D Bm Five years, five years [Verse 3] Em F#m We found a spider in the house Bm Bm/D Bm You freaked and you jumped up onto the couch Em F#m Since I was close and able Bm Bm/D Bm I jumped up on the coffee table Em F#m You said, "You should kill that" Bm Bm/D Bm I said, "Um, no, fuck that" Em F#m Bm Bm/D You said, "Come on, be a man" What? Em F#m You're a total anti-sexist, Bm Bm/D Bm a patriarchy fighter Em F#m But your whole world view collapses Bm Bm/D Bm The moment there's a spider, cool Em F#m I get it, this is the real you Bm Bm/D Bm It's a pleasure, nice to meet you Em F#m Shit like this brings the movement down Bm Bm/D Bm Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around [Chorus] Em F#m Five years, five years Bm Bm/D Bm Still you, still me, still here Em F#m Five years, five years, baby Bm Bm/D Bm Five years, five years [Outro] Em F#m How come every time I need to Bm Bm/D take a poo in the bathroom Bm You out of the blue need Em to use the bathroom? F#m Just use the guest room bathroom Bm Bm/D Bm That's why we got two bathrooms Em F#m Just use the guest room bathroom Bm Bm/D Bm That's why we got Em F#m two bathrooms Bm Bm/D Bm And you know
